I won't give you the full story because it's actually kind of boring, but I will say this much: I have extreme bipolar disorder--diagnosed by a psychiatrist and everything, no bullshit. I never took an online survey, but I have been chased by police, apprehended, and forced to take medication in a psychiatric unit against my will. I have been down to the utmost "depths of despondency", as my lover would say, and have earnestly wanted to kill myself each and every day for almost six months straight. But I didn't come here to sob, because I'm better now, and I want to tell you that you can regain yourself with this drug, because it's not like the rest.
When I started feeling like I would be hit by a crying spell, by a division of emotion, I would load my oil burner pipe and drag as deeply and as fully as I could. The battle would begin. In front of me, during my trip, stood a plethora of emotions, all fighting over each other. I had to pick one, and only one, suppressing the rest. And I did. From then on, each time I felt like I was on the verge of breaking down, on the verge of tying a rope around my neck or going out and buying a gun, I would instead tame myself by smoking DMT.
I consumed the substance for a six-month period, not letting myself go completely over the edge. During that time, my perceptions on life also changed, and presently I am no longer smoking it. The reason for this is not because I can't or don't want to (trust me, I always want to), but rather that I don't feel like I need it anymore. Notice how the title of this article includes "ESCAPING Bipolar Disorder" and not "Curing" it. I'm not so naive as to think that there is actually a cure for this mental disorder, I know there isn't, but I feel that DMT has cognitively restructured me to such a degree that I can somehow deal with my problems.
Don't mistake my words, I'm not saying you should try and escape your problems through the use of drugs, most certainly not, but instead I simply wish to offer you my positive experiences with self-medication. All the time I read and hear, "Don't ever self-medicate, always consult your psychiatrist". Well, the last time I did that, I got locked up and fed anti-psychotic M&Ms. I've learned to take risks, because that's the fun in life after all, and I also learned I can solve my own problems without the "help" of a "professional". I DO advocate the use of illegal drugs, but not all of them, only ones like DMT (and LSD, but that's a whole nother story) that are spiritually and emotionally healing.
As a final note, I just want to say that DMT is by far the craziest, most insane, most lunatic thing I've ever done. More ludicrous than that day I almost died (another crazy story), crazier than having Thanksgiving dinner after taking two hits of acid, crazier than running away from the police like a maniac, crazier than getting jumped by five people and fighting and losing, crazier than having sex in the woods with Miss Emma, crazier than finding out my ex-girlfriend (which I dated for four years) ended up turning into a man, crazier than taking a shitton of adderall to pass a five-hour standardized test, crazier than bribing my school counselor to let me into the program I want to be let in to, crazier than coming face-to-face with the person that held me up at gunpoint a year before, and just about every other single messed up thing I've done which I can't mention on the internet (but trust me, there are... things).
Hope you benefited from the read. Until next time.
Yours truly,
Ichigo